Haunted

Haunted by your smile
Haunted by your voice
Haunted by your gentle touch
Haunted by your warm embrace
Haunted by your kisses
Haunted by the memories we shared
This I must let go

I let you in my heart
You took advantage of it
And now you let go of it
You're as cold as Ice
Flaky as a snow flake

As frail as I can be
You took advantage of me
A hole in my heart
You filled it in
I should've known....
With your transitory emotions,
It would only be a moment for you

You held my hand
You said you'll never let go
Now I'm holding on by a thread
This you know....
I must let go

Isolation

Living my life in isolation
Heart beating fast
as worries and fears infiltrates every cell in my body
Feeling numb and exhausted
Lost in desperation...
What was once a world painted in colors

Shades of gray is all the color I see
As I lay in bed from night to day
Realizing I'm sleep deprived
Reminiscing the past
Of our giggles in bed reverberating in my head
Our tender kisses and hugs while feeling the release of oxytocin from within
Our nights out together felt like released butterflies
Love that was once flaming
As bright as stars shining
Slowly diffusing of an abandoned heart

Deprived of love and affection
I turned to him for comfort
Never knew things can change
the feelings I once had
Has now encumbered by the thoughts of us.

Now I face the reality
Isolation and prayers is now my comfort
Composing myself from painful memories
A heart once filled with excitable emotions
is now disconcerted by the empty promises

I now ask myself, what does it take for me to learn my lesson?
Am I still holding on to hope for any reason?
Holding myself hostage from my deepest fears 
To move on is not easy
So I pray for strength as I drown myself in tears
Pray that every tear running down my cheeks will be a blessing
Of God's favor to give me strength and peace
His pure and perfect love is all what fills my heart
as I weep and surrender all my fears

Even though I am a victim of love and empty promises
I don't have a cold heart in my body
Therefore Vengeance is not my strength
All I know is, I have loved you with all my heart
So forgiveness is all I can do
You had my heart....
All I can do now is take back my shattered heart...
I am done....  Farewell!
This is my closure to you

uncertain agony

I don't wield the certainty of the future
or predict what lies ahead in our paths, 
but one thing i am so sure of 
is that my heart will come to pass
of the pain, of the misery of my love endure
as it was then, now, and more than ever. 
there's a place in my heart that i can love and cherish you 
in silence or even from afar.

i know you have not even known of my feelings for you 
not until that fateful day that when we reconnected. 
You went on with life not expecting me,  
but i existed all this years still hoping dreaming and wanting 
that someday, one day, i will cross your path 
and never let that single chance pass me by, 
fortunate for me, it finally did. 

The long expectation of the past just rushed in 
like torrents of emotion drowning me in a blissful spin. 
And so you know that if i ever lose your love my heart will be in agony and would just keep loving you from this special place in my heart hopeful as always like those years that passed.

destiny lost

if two souls were meant to be 
should each one feel what the other feels?
if what was said of ones heart 
kept with the others heart grips the pain,
the misery the torment that lurks
inside with each passing moment of this lonely plight.

if two destinies indeed intertwined
in this journey called life
should tribulations obscure the path to
each others hearts burning passion?
a misdemeanor in a moment of insecurity
became an excuse for this cold dark night
spent alone in total convolution.

but i can see clearly now, of feelings mixed and true
how someone naive could dive into this passionate oblivion,
will succumb into an orphaned destitution.
for someone who expect the unexpected
who closed ones eyes in a leap of fate
fleeing from the comfort of what has always been
in pursuit of a dream only a true heart can conceive.

I was found wanting and yearning 
to feel to connect, to bask in the warmth of your presence
all these years i waited for the moment to come
and it finally did, with all my strength i poured my heart
surrendering to the passion that was once only a dream.

Unexpected I was in your life and i thank the heavens
that you accepted me as i am, making me feel the
love and the affection that i yearned. 
I know i must not expect much but for someone who has 
fallen for a that single moment in youth i have no choice
but to endure the pain. I have died again and again
every time i find myself at a loss of the reality of things.
But resilient is the feelings of a heart true to its beating.
My pride, my ego my shame comes nothing when the heart dictates.

depression hits

Depressed as the the light shows the hint of dusk of another days end. 

Depressed as i lay in bed transfixed on the ceiling above 

Depressed as I recount my lifes past 

Depressed as I realize i am all alone 

Depressed as the moment succumbs to the passing time 

Depressed as the loneliness reaches to the depth of my bones 

Depressed knowing that only in my dreams I could be 

Depressed because of what has become of me 

Depressed because something beautiful is not so beautiful anymore 

A euphoric dream it once was now lay in the edge of obscurtiy as 

I lay and watch it fade just like the light of dusk in a days end. 

saddened

Even if I had a hundred reasons to be sad, 

a thousand reasons to frown, 

a million reasons to cry I only need one reason to smile: 

YOU but it seems you already moved on....

I closed my eyes to see your face, 

opening them slowly to an empty place. 

Alone, lost, and left in the dark, 

with hopes that one day we'd rekindle the spark.

I wish you were here to wipe my tears away,

kiss me until I smile again and hold me until I fall asleep...

I really do miss you.

forever

I know u cant wait forever

And i never obligated you to do so.

I know i always disappoint you

Even if my intention is to please you

I know i am just an option

That can easily be replaced

I know i just have to be thankful

For the time you spared to know me

I know i am not much

But just accept what i mean to you

But for what its worth

These feeling for you is always true

All my life i searched for this feeling

All my life i never thought i will find it

All my life i thought the happiness

All my life i thought of the sadness

These things i will always ponder

And this is how i will remain forever.